Institute for the Study of Unnecessary Longing
Do You Have Yearning Disability?
Do you miss people you barely knew? Romanticize things that were objectively mediocre? Long for an alternate version of your life that never happened?
Find out whether your yearning is within normal limits or whether your imagination has become a public safety concern.
15 questions. 3 minutes. Results may be emotionally inconvenient.
What is Yearning Disability?
Yearning Disability is a proposed condition characterized by persistent longing for people, places, experiences, and hypothetical realities that are absent, inaccessible, or perhaps entirely imaginary.
Common symptoms include romanticizing the past, developing emotional attachments to hypothetical futures, assigning profound meaning to minor interactions, and experiencing disproportionate emotional responses to music.
The Institute is currently investigating the condition. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Excerpts from Form YD-001
Assessment preview
Q04 · The Nostalgia Incident
Can a song, smell, photograph, or random memory transport you into the emotional atmosphere of a period of your life you can no longer return to?
Q02 · The Alternate Timeline
Have you ever spent an unreasonable amount of time imagining how your life would have turned out if you had made one different decision?
Q14 · The Presence Problem
Have you ever been in the middle of a genuinely good experience and found yourself thinking about how much you will miss it when it is over?
Bulletin
Recent Findings from the Institute
- Researchers have identified a strong correlation between rainy afternoons and unnecessarily revisiting the past.
- The Institute is investigating whether emotional unavailability increases perceived attractiveness.
- A preliminary report suggests that some subjects are more attached to the possibility of an event than to the event itself.
Procedure
- 01
Answer 15 questions honestly.
- 02
Receive your official yearning classification.
- 03
Decide whether to seek help or simply send the results to someone who needs to see them.